Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Beach, airbrush t=shirts, doughnuts: retirement plan

I'm tired of being serious. I think I am just tired. As a lawyer, I spend my days talking and thinking about problems. Other people's problems. For some reason years ago I thought it was a good idea to spend my life this way. I long to simplify my life.

So on days like this I make my retirement plans. What I have decided on is a simple business at the beach (probably Gulf Shores or Orange Beach, but I'm open to other locations). I was thinking of opening up a small combination airbrush t-shirt/doughnut shop . . . not one of those that you go into, but one that you walk up to. I wanted to start simply, you know, hot glazed doughnuts in the morning. There would also be coffee . . . mostly because I would want some coffee and I could deduct the cost of every drop I drank. Then there would be airbrush t-shirts. Now I have no idea how to produce an airbrush shirt, but, I am willing to be trained. I would do several standard designs and have them hanging on the eave of the walk-up doughnut stand. While people ate their doughnuts and drank their coffee they would see the t-shirts, and since they felt so good from the tasty pastry and coffee, they would buy a shirt as well. I would probably have to expand my business to include yogurt, juice, water, and maybe some granola bars for the health addict. People would begin to stand at my stand for so long that I would have to add a few more things. Tables and chairs would be necessary. Then a line of sunscreen products, visors and caps to handle my customers' added exposure to the sun. The whole atmosphere screams "family" so I would have to expand a little to have something for the kids. Maybe a complete line of beach equipment: buckets, shovels, rafts, boogie-boards. Since I'l l have stuff for the children, I might as well have something for the ones that hold the pocketbook, the mother and the father. Bathing suits, beach outfits, casual wear, beach hats, beach towels, fishing tackle, golf stuff, and souvenirs for everybody, like little shot glasses with Orange Beach painted on the side and plastic cubes with hermit crabs inside. I would have to build additions to my stand. Now it would be a place that you walk into, and hopefully stay. I would have to hire several more people, probably college students off for the summer, to make smoothies and lattes, to run the goofy golf course/bungiedrop/water park/ go-kart track, to handle the bicycle and jet-ski rentals, and to run the on-line service. I would have to hire and train the workers, schedule their shifts, set their salaries, listen to their excuses and complaints, settle arguments, and try to create an atmosphere where customers would be happy to stay. Day after day and into the night I would keep my employees happy, listen to the complaints of customers and their whiny children, consult with my lawyers and insurance carriers for the lawsuits from claims of exaggerated injuries from the rental division and the natural diet supplement we exclusively carry . . .

Ok, it's still a work in progress. I'll keep you posted. But it is good to plan ahead.

3 comments :

  1. If you build it, they will come.

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  2. My parents moved down there in September and my Dad told me he wishes they had done it 20 years ago. Sounds good, just make sure you have directions to my house and luggage packed at the front door.

    Oh, and airbrush is out. Go with henna tattoos. I think it would be much hilarious for you to temporarily brand folks.

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  3. I think there is a definite theme going on here. I have, by nature, made jokes and diverting comments on each of these blog, but that doesn’t diminish the seriousness that each deals with in their own way. I would like to say something, but because that last post is tongue and cheek, I will start with it first.
    “Beach, airbrush t=shirts, doughnuts: retirement plan” is not a Bentley plan I haven’t heard before. It always gets better. In fact, it is a plan of great promise, and I think it is the plans in our life that keep us moving forward. Plans keep us looking toward the future and they’re great to use as speculation. Shannon and I have had great fun throughout our marriage talking about our plans. You might say it’s our calling in our calling. I know some of our deep theological friends are scratching their collective heads right now wondering what I’m talking about? Ha, welcome to my world.
    What I mean is my dad spent his entire life planning, and talking about when he would retire. He never retired in the working sense. The days after his funeral, I felt sad because he never was able to do all of those things that he had planned, or all of those things we sat on his long back porch and talked about. Well, I say he probably never would have. He would have stayed home and did whatever mom had planned for him, watch the news, and played with his grandchildren. Oh ya, love his family.
    I think you see where I’m going with this…
    As I sit here reading about Mystical Theology, I consistently wonder about “calling.” Then I think about so many that have guided me by their schedule that they think mundane. And, God treasures all that they involve themselves with, because keeping the faith in that which we consider mundane is the hardest of all.
    Point 2:
    In regards to Bob’s earlier post and Rev. Wright…I enjoyed joking about Bob’s piece because I didn’t want to be forced with having to address all that Rev. Jeremiah Wright said. Having recently studied Jeremiah, I realized there are some correlations in the two characters. But, probably a great correlation was the way I felt once hearing Rev. Wright, and to compare those feeling with the audience of Jeremiah. Think about the words of Jeremiah and what if they were directed toward you?
    “ Look up to the bare heights, and see!
    Where have you not been lain with?
    By the waysides you have sat waiting for lovers,
    Like nomad in the wilderness.
    You have polluted the land with your whoring and wickedness.
    Therefore the showers have been withheld,
    and the spring rain has not come;
    yet you have the forehead of a whore,
    you refuse to be ashamed.”
    (NRSV, Jeremiah 3:2,3)

    I don’t know about you, but these words would make me angry? Rev. Wright’s word angered me as well, but I bet I didn’t feel anger near as bad as Senator Obama. In the words of Bishop Willimon while speaking to those of us at Annual Conference in regards to what we are called to do, “ These are hard, hard words.”

    What’s in a calling? It’s that which we use to connect our dreams and the dreams of God. Thanks Bob for your calling and how it overlaps mine, and thanks for the truths that make us stop and take notice.

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