Poorcine

I love Alabama. I get weary of my sweet home being the whipping boy of national media. From SNL's horrid depiction of then U. S. Senator Howell Heflin years ago to some of our present delegation's comments in front of the national cameras we should not be surprised that Alabama is a punchline that always gets a laugh from the rest of the country.

It is true that we Alabamians are naturally funny. But it is the good kind of funny, the kind that should be laughed with, not laughed at.

I am tired of it. It is something we should remember when the next election rolls around, but that will be awhile. We need to do something now.

And we can. If we will.

Alabama U. S. Senator Richard Shelby is demanding pork. I'm talking pork the size of Clay County's Hogzilla II. ( an Alabama national news story that was actually the right kind of funny a couple of years ago, http://http//www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,275524,00.html It was later learned that Hogzilla II was a farm raised hog that just ate too much for his owner and was released for the hunt. )

Back to Senator Shelby. The same Senator Shelby who is fiscally conservative, who is afraid the ballooning national debt will destroy our future, is singlehandedly holding hostage more than seventy of President Obama's appointments to the pentagon and other agencies. He is doing this using a power that all Senators hold. Any Senator can put a hold on an appointment. It takes a vote of 60 to over-ride such a hold. Most Senators have used the hold on one or two appointments either out of true concern about the appointment, or for a bit of leverage on legislation.

But no one Senator has ever put a hold on all appointments. And even more disingenuous, Sir Richard is not even pretending to have a reason related to the appointments. Shelby just wants the pork. He will not release the holds until he gets his way.

The pork is for us. The State of Alabama. So, if we are true to the comedic script that the rest of the country expects us to read (actually to hear some of them talk they seem to doubt we can read), we will welcome Senator Shelby as the conquering hero, the successful hunter who has bagged Hogzilla III and brought him back to Huntsville for the slaughter, even as we shout "no new taxes."

But that is not what will happen. Shelby's behavior has almost guaranteed that he will not get his way. I could be wrong. Only time will tell (and I am sure some of you will as well). But it is doubtful that this ridiculously selfish, childish, unstatesmanlike behavior will be rewarded. No one can afford for that to happen. Republicans or Democrats.

So once again the nation is laughing at Alabama and its caricature politicians.

But we the people could stop it.

Alabama voted against runaway spending in the last presidential election. The only pork we have anything good to say about is frying in a pan or baking in the oven. Some southern theologians believe that the pork which the Hebrew testament prohibited was not that kind raised on slop, but rather the kind raised in the pigsties of the halls of Congress in Washington D. C.

We oughta vote 'em out, all those guys that just want to spend more money on their pet pork projects.

But we can't do that. It's not time for the election.

But we can rise up and say no. Say no to the pork that Shelby is trying to force feed us. Hasn't he heard that we in Alabama hate pork barrel politics and wild Washington out of control spending. Shoot, wasn't he the one saying that during his last election?

Let's just say no. Tell Senator Shelby that we mean what we say. No more pork, even if it is addressed to us. Tell Senator Shelby to quit playing games with our country's future. Let's lead the nation instead of following it.

Write your Senator. Write your Congressman. Write your newspaper.

Tell 'em to keep the pork. We'll keep our word.

Tha tha tha that's all folks . . .

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