Pretend end

Saturday. Sofa. Coffee.

So what if Harold Camping is right about the rapture? What would I want to say today as I sit, sip and type? Other than Hosanna. That is what I would say to Jesus. I am wondering what I would want to say to everyone else.

A friend of mine coined a phrase to describe the feeling after a major disaster. Frantically frozen. Desperately wanting to do everything needing done, and being able to do nothing. If the rapture were really coming I think the feeling for me would be similar. So many things I meant to do, meant to say, meant to fix, and now only a few hours are left. Since I am not a believer in the current prediction, it is difficult for me to imagine what I would do or say without the real pressure being on. Adrenalin is a necessary element in my ability to perform life. That's something I've been meaning to do something about. No point now.

There are thousands of those things as I ponder priorities of what to address. It becomes quickly apparent that most of them now seem ridiculously unimportant or sadly impossible at this late date.

There are the day to day things that would generally be categorized as organizing my life. That will not be necessary now. I would need at least another millennium to complete that task. I will, however, clear a path to the door just to be sure I can be reached.

There were things I wanted to learn. Violin. Saxophone. Several languages. Dance. All the words to Alice's Restaurant.

There were so many things I wanted to do. See the whole world. Return to Elrod Falls. Argue a case to the Supreme Court. Write the good American novel. Possibly great. Watch UA play in the final four. Eat dinner with the Obamas. Play a part in a Shakespeare play, make that a lead. Dunk a basketball (afraid it will take the rapture to get that one done, if I can do it on the way up).

But it is silly to think about those things at this late date, although thinking about them has given me some pleasure.

Suddenly I don't like this exercise.

It is not the list of things to do or that I meant to learn that will bug me.

It is the list of people. That I meant to give apology. That I meant to affirm. That I meant to help. That I meant to forgive. That I meant to hug. That I meant to call. That I meant to spend time with.

That I meant to love.


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