It's a crazy week-end here in Alabama. All week-end long.
Black Friday in Alabama was huge. Florence police had to use a stun-gun on a WalMart shopper. Apparently he was intoxicated on more than huge discounts. A woman in Trussville was knocked out during a bed linen fracas. Bed linens- $19. Embarrassment for the rest of your life - priceless. Shoppers in Saraland who had been standing in line for a couple of hours for wii's and xbox's were rushed and assaulted by a group of marauders. Other shoppers heroically sprung into action, attempting to defeat them by manning the nearest xbox controllers, but got distracted when a torrid Dance Central challenge broke out instead. That pretty much covers the State of Alabama from North to South. Just wanted to be fair.
On the positive side, the weather was beautiful and crowds were huge. The "Occupy Target" movement spread across the state, as tent villages sprung up in front of mall and store entrances by those excitedly leaving their homes, anticipating the coming of the promised one . . . a 42 inch flat screen for $185.00. Songs proclaiming Jesus' birth, romantic snowy nights and toys filled the air. Parking lots were slam full from the pilgrimages from every village and town to the mall meccas. Cash flowed like a mighty river of gravy on a Hardees breakfast biscuit.
Early estimates indicate a five percent increase in shoppers and sales over last year.
But, in Alabama, there is only one force capable of stopping the fervor of the consumer madness spawned by Black Friday. According to retail experts, that madness will stop abruptly at 2:30 this afternoon, when a football lifts from the tee in a tranquil village nestled in the southeast part of the state.
Today is Iron Bowl Saturday. For you readers outside Alabama, the Iron Bowl is the annual football game between two universities in the State of Alabama.. The University of Alabama and Auburn University. The intra-state war will resume this year on the loveliest village of the Plains. That would be Auburn, for you outsiders. The description comes from a pastoral poem, "Deserted Village," by Oliver Goldsmith, more specifically the line that says, "Sweet Auburn, loveliest village of the plains . . ."
The city of Auburn, Alabama will be anything but a Deserted Village today. And the atmosphere will be anything but lovely.
A football game is played with 22 players on the field, eleven from each team. But the Iron Bowl is played by about 4 million people, roughly 2 million on each side, facing off on every square inch of the state of Alabama, and world-wide courtesy of Armed Forces Radio and CBS.
It is difficult to describe the Auburn-Alabama rivalry to outsiders. The only thing the opposing sides unite on is that their rivalry has no rival. Even that can become a weapon, as in some years one or the other may claim they have grown bigger than this one game. That team often loses that year. Fans on both sides arrange their lives around the it. . .menus, wardrobes, vacation days, wedding dates, surgeries, children's names, funerals, entertainment center and vehicle purchases, and other significant decisions, based upon allegiance or the scheduled time of kick-off, which is really challenging in these days of shuffling TV schedules. The pain or glory of the game, depending on your perspective, lasts for a year, until the next chapter is written. I am still trying to awaken from the nightmare of the second half of last year's contest in Tuscaloosa. The last thing I remember is going to get a hot dog at half-time. Then I vaguely remember fumbling the hot dog into the end zone and someone else eating it. All other memory is repressed, which I consider a means of grace. Hopefully I will be fully awakened from that horrible dream by about 5:30. Hopefully sooner. But after last year any good Bama fan knows it is not over till its over.
So, all over the state, ordinary life will stop at 2:30. Real life shall commence with a referee's whistle.
But the real action will be in Auburn, Alabama, at Jordan Hare Stadium. Somewhere around 125,000 fans, by my scientific estimate, will be on the loveliest campus of the plains. The stadium itself seats about 87,500. It will be at capacity. Outside the stadium thousands of tailgaters without tickets will be watching on satellite TV's hooked up to generators in front of RV's, pickups, and tents full of chicken wings, barbecue, hot dogs,obligatory vegetable trays, potato salad, and any beverage you might desire. Many arrived yesterday to set up. It is a huge party. Decorations of orange, blue, crimson and white adorn everything and everybody. Doctors, lawyers, teachers, preachers, businesspeople, old and young, rich and poor, sport outfits featuring elephant trunks and tiger tails, boxes of Tide detergent and rolls of toilet paper. T-shirts featuring demeaning, yet clever artwork about the opponent is common. Yes, it is quite a party.
But the party stops at 2:30. Then it's time to get serious. By 6:00 we'll know who is happy and who is sad.
And the roads of Alabama will be jammed as everyone returns home.
Returning home after a crazy Friday of shopping. After a crazy Saturday of football.
To get to church on Sunday morning, right? Alabama is the buckle of the Bible Belt after all. And most of the football heroes we love so much make sure, before saying anything else about their performance, to give glory to God, sometimes even pointing up at Him as they run into the end zone. The money we spent on Friday says, "In God We Trust." We are told that our consumer purchases will help save our society. That's what Jesus came for isn't it? To save our society?
So, surely our churches will see a gain in the offering plate of at least five percent over last year, right?
And folks will be camping out at the doors of the church tomorrow to get the best seats, right?
The crowd at church will be so big some of us will have to watch in the parking lot, but it will be kind like a party cause we just want to be there, right?
And all our decisions, weddings, funerals, menus, wardrobes, purchases, children's names, and vacation days are based on our love of God and the schedule of our church, right?
I don't mean to be a downer. I love it all. At least the football part. I am not much of a shopper. But I am a true Bammer (Alabama fanatic). I have paid too much for tickets. I get temporarily depressed after a loss. I own a good selection of shirts. And one cap. I keep a shaker in my car. I break out into Rammer Jammer whenever I hear those iconic notes of Gary Glitter's Rock and Roll, part 2 (also known as the "Hey Song"). Nna, Nna, Nna, Hey Tigers . . . I have spent uncounted Saturdays in Tuscaloosa enjoying all that I have talked about, and I hope I will continue to do so. I have strained to hear the internet broadcast of the Auburn Alabama game, way into the night in Riga, Latvia. Today I will sit on my sofa, eat nachos, and be tense until the Tide finishes the task at hand. So, perhaps to justify myself, I don't think the passion and fun of Auburn-Alabama is a bad thing (unless it just gets stupid or harmful).
It is obvious we know how to be passionate. Let's just show it in church tomorrow, if we love God more than anything as we often claim,, even more than we love Alabama or Auburn football. And like our Alabama-Auburn feelings, let's do it throughout the year.
Making buying so much stuff okay spiritually? I'm still struggling with that.
I'm glad Jesus didn't talk much about football.
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