I woke up early this morning. The coffee was set to start brewing at 5:00 a.m. as a back-up to my alarm clock. But my eyes opened around 4:45 a.m. and I could not go back to sleep. The sunrise service at Palisades Park was to begin at 6:00 so I got up, manually started the coffee, and got ready to go. The tub o' coffee tankard was called for on such a morning as this, so it was pulled from the top shelf and filled to the brim. I threw the guitar in the front seat shotgun and headed out.
The moon was brilliant in the high western sky, which even at that early hour was turning from velvet blue to that next lighter shade. Feathery clouds framed it, their edges a silver outline.
In the valley it was pleasantly cool. But when I stepped out of my car on top of the mountain at the park, it was different. The wind was howling and the temperature was in the forties. It felt like the teens. Doug got there just ahead of me, and for several minutes it seemed like we might be sharing an intimate sunrise service, just the two of us. We walked to the edge of the cliffs and looked out over the valley. A crimson line defined the eastern horizon for a few minutes. But the valley was still dark, with fog tucked like a blanket among the small hills.
As others arrived the sun was rising. The thin crimson outline of the horizon exploded into streaks of red and pink against a golden sky that faded into brightening shades of blue.
I love the sunrise service at Palisades. In sweatpants and jeans, most of us look like we just rolled out of bed, because we did. Some appeared to bring the bedspread with them on such a cold morning. All ages, all sizes. Some came alone, some came in families. But every face had one thing in common. Each came to see and celebrate once again the rising of the sun and the rising of the Son. It is not a formal thing, like in church. As the crowd gathers there is smiling and laughing, handshakes and hugging, and sometimes simply staring speechless in wonder into the glory of God's re-creation.
I learned a long time ago that at this particular service you cannot plan a program that is sufficient. Up against what God has offered for the day, every effort seems so feeble. But we come, read our scriptures, recite our readings, play our guitars and sing our songs.
We have no illusion that we bring a worthy offering. But we are reminded every year as the sun rises over the hills that God is perfectly faithful.
And in maybe what is our best moment, we want to let God know that we are faithful too, in the rising of the Son.
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Thank you for the description of Easter morning and the sunrise service, from one who has participated in the sunrise service at Palisades and now misses it. I had my own sunrise service on my porch, facing east into bright green foliage, with a hint of orange appearing between distance tree trunks, which was lovely. But for those who haven't tried it, "Alleluia, He is coming," doesn't have the same feel with just one voice. There is something to worshipping in community.
ReplyDeleteQuite by accident, I came across your blog about a year ago. I've read it off and on since then. I haven't been reading recently because I gave up the internet and more specifically blogs for Lent. I did get on the afternoon of Refreshment Sunday, but let's face it as WWW indicates one afternoon isn't enough time to catch up on 3 1/2 weeks of internet. So here after Easter, I've gotten back on- trying not to get readdicted to the ramblings of others.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that my blogging has up to now been mostly as an observer. When the weather service site wants to know if I think I am afflicted by winter depression, I feel no compulsion to answer.
But your blog has finally drawn me in. I'd like to encourage you (because I think you need encouragement) and say that it is because of your insightful and perceptive writings and questions. But it isn't. It is because of the contradictions I find in your writings. At times you seem confident and 'preachy' telling the world (or at least those of us readers) what we should be doing politically and spiritually. Then you seem unsure and searching asking us our opinions about some veiled, Godly struggle you're experiencing.
But most of all what has drawn me in is this overwhelming sense of grief that I experience when reading your blog. It feels like someone doing more running and hiding than searching. Now I don't pretend to understand you or your struggle. As your blog would indicate, you are obviously well educated, well read and articulate. But I wonder what the purpose for you the blog holds.
If I remember correctly, you have indicated that it is supposed to be therapeutic like journaling. And I am a firm believer in journaling. But on more than one occasion you have made statements about about 'subjects that will never been seen in this blog.' Things you didn't want to share. Or you alluded to some specific, personal struggle you have with God but not directly. And who can blame you. Afterall, it's the internet-not a journal. But then does it really serve the purpose journaling would?
Maybe, it is the interaction you seek- someone's help in your struggle, grief, whatever. But when you seem to be most in need of help- like the terribly 'melancholy' blog about the baseball glove, your insightful from his blog site I'm assuming Methodist minister friend asks what saddle soap is...very compassionate.
(BTW, you use the word melancholy more than any person I've ever known.) So if you're looking for guidance or accountability, it doesn't appear to me you're getting it.
Well, I'm starting to ramble and don't really want to do that, so I will end with comments (probably rambling comments) about 2 of your survey questions.
First of all, I want to address the one on signs. I do believe in signs. And I feel that the more we are open to them, the more we see them. Maybe that is because God shows us more in our open-mindedness or maybe because as some respondents have suggested we 'think' we see them. And I could give you example after example of times God has given me nothing less than miraculous signs- but I won't because after all it is the internet.
Maybe the problem is knowing what the signs mean. For example, when you were leaving for a foreign country at some holiday and were struggling with whether you were meant to- I think because of sons maybe and responsibilities, I'm not sure- you saw clients and an opposing lawyer in the airport-you saw that as an indication taht you were supposed to leave.
If it were my responsibilities standing right in front of me, I would have seen that as God's saying, 'You can run but you can't hide.' I thought that at the very moment I read it, but when I continued and read your explanation, I was completely surprised. It was your sign, so again I'm probably wrong. But I do wonder sometimes if I'm really seeing what God is revealing or what I want to see.
The second question is the one about the demise of the church. I thought the first respondent made some valid points. The second respondent seemed a bit harsh. I thought at least you were encouraging free expression. Quite frankly, who that has been involved in the body of Christ for long has not been hurt or disappointed. We do seek guidance and support but for various reasons the body doesn't always give it-maybe we don't feel adequate or qualified-maybe we don't have time or patience- I don't know.
And then when we look at the church, it becomes less clear how it is different from the world. The rates for divorce, infidelity, abuse and addiction are not that different. And this is not only among the congregates but the clergy. I've had people tell me that some Christian they looked up to had turned his back on his obligations and it shook their faith. I guess Paul would say a stumbling block. And as Christians we are taught that only God won't disappoint us. But as the Wesleyan quadrilateral would state our experience is one way we see God. And if our experience with God through the body of Christ is one of betrayal and abandonment, what are we to think? How can we overcome life-changing hurts? And more simplistically as Beth Moore would tell us, non believers look at Christians and need to see a changed joyful life. And if they don't they think, "And they have to get up early on Sunday.' How can the church be relevant if that is what we represent? But as the Rite of the Eucharist states we (I) need to make things right with the ones we have wronged and then come to Christ's table- but we don't- won't-can't. Hard quetions. Hard answers.
Well, I'm through with my first and last blogging. Take it for what it is worth which is very little. But maybe the writing was somewhat therapeutic but too long. I hope you find what you are searching for or maybe have misplaced. But most of all I sincerely wish you peace for your 'dark night of the soul' if that is what it is.